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SO YOU'RE GRADUATING ...
by FRANK O'DONNELL
June 1, 2008
Last year, I was honored to be the parent speaker at the Birchwood School graduation. It was a lot of fun encouraging a group of 8th graders to thank their teachers. As an added bonus, I got to hand my son Patrick his diploma.
This year, I had a new speech ready to go, just in case any local principal called.
None did.
So with graduation season upon us, allow me to share ten simple thoughts about what’s coming next for graduates everywhere.
THOUGHT 1
You’ve studied hard, and while it’s all about the process, there are certain things you’ve learned that you will probably never encounter again.
For instance, e=mc2. The theory of relativity will be useful if you’re headed for a career in physics. For the rest of us, it might help answer a question on “Jeopardy.”
“This is the ‘e’ in ‘e=mc2.’”
“Uh, what is Einstein, Alex?”
THOUGHT 2
There’s a high road and there’s a low road. The former is the better way to travel. The High Road’s DPW does a better job of filling in life’s potholes.
THOUGHT 3
Think about public service at some point in your life.
When you make the leap, be sure the service is to the public. Because if you lose sight of that concept, it turns into self service.
And the federal prisons are already crowded with folks like that.
THOUGHT 4
Sports are fun, but remember, there are more important things going on in the world than Manny Being Manny and Spygate. Really. There are.
THOUGHT 5
Remember the good stuff from your school years. The bad stuff should be archived, the same way I archive my e-mail messages. I drag and drop them into a folder where they’ll be found later only by accident.
THOUGHT 6
If it smells bad, don’t eat it.
THOUGHT 7
If it tastes bad, don’t expect that anyone else sitting at your table will be interested in sampling it. Especially after you’ve announced how lousy it tastes.
THOUGHT 8
If it looks like a duck, and walks like a duck, don’t take for granted that it’s a duck. It could be a platypus.
The point is, there are very few absolutes in this world. “What goes up must come down” is one of them – unless of course we’re talking about the price of a gallon of gas.
THOUGHT 9
When I graduated from college 30 years ago, gas cost 63 cents a gallon. Using the process of extrapolation, in 30 years, gas could cost almost $25 a gallon. If there’s any gas left. Meanwhile, you might consider investing in a chain of bicycle shops.
THOUGHT 10
And a final note, on behalf of parents everywhere.
We do understand you. And we do know what you’re going through.
If you disagree, take the time to explain it to us.
Often, we have the capacity to help you unravel the mysteries of your life.
If not, at least you’re giving us some fun stories to share during our coffee breaks.
[One indulgence. I dedicate this column to a special graduate. My daughter Kayla, who wraps up her four years at Davies next week very near the top of her class. She continues to make us all very proud, looking for platypuses. Or is it platypi?]
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[Join the North Providence Gang, and weigh in on the town’s MOST IMPORTANT topics. What a great way to celebrate your civic pride. Just send an email to frankocomedy@cox.net, and you’ll be signed up.]
Reprinted with permission from The North Providence Breeze
Cartoon by Charlie Hall
