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North Providence Breeze(UN)RELIABLE SOURCES: 047

SOME SEASONAL REFLECTIONS

by FRANK O'DONNELL
December 16, 2007


With the peak of the height of the holidays just days away, some seasonal reflections.
           
OKAY, WHO ORDERED THE WHITE CHRISTMAS?

As I write this, we’re digging out from our second winter storm of significance in the past four days.

I’m sorry. Make that late fall winter-type storms. My meteorological friends get quite upset when I refer to the seasons improperly.

“Winter doesn’t start this year until December 22.”

Yes, Gary, I know.

“At 1:08 AM.”

Got it. Now why don’t you go do something constructive, like shovel all this frozen late fall precipitation out of the end of my driveway?

In the wake of last Thursday’s storm, there’s been a lot of finger-pointing, laying blame on a variety of folks for the horrendous conditions.

I’m pointing my finger at Lite 105 and 93.3 Coast FM.

They’ve been playing Christmas music since Labor Day.

Mother Nature tuned in and got completely messed up.

Sure, the calendar says it’s fall, but the radio stations say differently.

And when you’ve got two self-proclaimed official soundtracks of the season in the same market, it’s bound to wreak havoc.

Charlie Hall CartoonAnd so it has.

After hearing “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas” for the thousandth time, Mother Nature snapped and made our dreams come true.

And before you get all technical on me, I would quickly point out that nightmares qualify as dreams.

I don’t want to sound like the Grinch, but enough already with getting a jump on the holiday tunes. At this pace, we’ll be shoveling out on VJ Day by the end of the decade.
           
AND WHO ORDERED THE WHITE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS?
 
I must have missed the memo.

Driving around town, I’m seeing an awful lot of white lights on trees both in and outside neighborhood houses. In fact, my own informal survey – which really just involves looking out my picture window – 80% of North Providence has whitewashed their holiday decorations.

White icicle lights dripping from gutters. White nets of lights on the outside trees and shrubs. White electric candles burning bright on window sills. And white blinkers on the Christmas tree in the picture window.

I guess when Santa arrives in North Providence this year, he’ll be dressed like a White Sale at Macy’s, on a gleaming white sleigh pulled by eight albino reindeer led by Harry with the Halogen Headlight Nose.

My neighbor across the street and I seem to be the only ones on the street with a variety of colored lights on our trees.

Perhaps it’s because we’re at the end of the street?

Or maybe it’s because we haven’t been able to clear a path to our mailboxes in about a week.

Yeah, that’s it, the memo’s in the mail. I just didn’t get it yet.


A LITTLE HOLIDAY CHUCKLE


At the height of Thursday’s storm, a caller to culprit radio station number one let the world know it took her about two hours to get from one end of Mineral Spring Avenue to the other.

Sure, everywhere else, the world was tipped upside down, but here in North Providence, it was just another day.

A CLOSING NOTE

My sincerest wishes to one and all for a happy whatever holiday you happen to celebrate or not at this time of year.

Even if it’s just setting your alarm for 1:07AM on December 22 to toast the passage from fall to winter.


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Reprinted with permission from The North Providence Breeze
Cartoon by Charlie Hall