(UN)RELIABLE SOURCES: 035
REINVENTING MSA

by FRANK O'DONNELL
JUNE 28, 2007

If you've traveled along Mineral Spring Avenue lately, I'm sure you're as amazed as I am at the way our favorite thoroughfare appears to be reinventing herself.

From Woodard Road westward to Centredale, things are changing.

Lots of things. Completely new buildings, refurbished older buildings, stucco facades.

It's like the architectural equivalent of plastic surgery.

"Nip/Tuck" meets HGTV.

I recently had coffee with a fellow who claims to be the mastermind of this streetlift, if you will. Town planner Frank Lloyd Rightofway.

"Once you get the vision, it's hard to get it out of your head," said Rightofway.

"It's hard to say where it all began. But it was clear to me, something had to change. If it's going to take forever to cross town, at least the view should be nice."

Rather than approach the changes chronologically, Rightofway took out a map and started X'ing off locations.

"Right here," he said, waving his Sharpie. "Remember when this spot here at the corner of Woodard Road was a Sunoco station?"

Well, yeah, it was just a couple of months ago.

"Right. Well, anyway, we already had a Sunoco. And it's got a car wash. So, let's put in something new."

Is a Hess station really something new?

"Are you kidding me? Have you seen the colors? Brilliant white and forest green.

Or maybe it's Kelly green. I can't tell them apart. Versus blue and yellow? Come on."

But isn't blue and yellow the color scheme at the high school?

"That's blue and gold! Besides, if we could put a Cougar station here, then maybe it would make sense." His eyes bulge momentarily, and he jots a note to himself on the side of the map. "Good idea, but maybe somewhere else down the street. Maybe at the Rizzo corner."

But we're losing a service station, I point out, which leaves us with just one on MSA proper.

"True," says Rightofway, "but at this corner, you'll be able to get nachos and cheese from an all-day warmer."

He traces a line heading west, then stabs the map with the marker. "This was the old Celona homestead. Remember? Now it's the beautiful new Imaging Institute.

Very nice. And high tech too. What a bonus for the town!"

Without missing a breath, he draws a line across the street. "How about this? Dexter Training Concepts."

Nice building, I've got to admit. Haven't been inside yet. But as it's a gym, I'm sure I'll get around to it one of these days.

"And a darn sight more impressive than the house it replaced, wouldn't you say?"

Rightofway points out that this is part of a trend. Homeowners with actual MSA addresses are posting "For Sale" signs on their buildings. "They're available for renovation, or for razing and replacement. Out with the old, in with the new. That's my motto."

Good to have a motto, I always say. In fact, that's my motto.

"This is economic development, my friend," says Rightofway, his hand sweeping across the map, "and that's good for any town."

He continues down the Avenue. The Kentucky Fried Chicken's had a complete facelift, including a sharp-looking parking lot and a drive-through that makes sense.

The Brooks Plaza looks brand-new. "When the signs are all lit up at night, it reminds me of Rodeo Drive," says Rightofway. "You know, the one in Beverly Hills."
As opposed to the one in West Warwick, I guess.

"There's that brand-new plaza up the hill on the left, with Rita's and Quizno's in it. Also very impressive when lit up. The signs, that is, not you." He laughs at his little joke.

They're working ever so carefully on the office buildings at the corner of Smithfield Road and MSA. Across from the high school, luxury condominiums will occupy the space that was an auto salvage yard. Rightofway says people are flocking to move into Moratorium Meadows.

Stuffies is gone, replaced by Wildfire.

The new Dunkin' Donuts is thriving.

And the McDonald's now has two drive-thru stations and a spiffy new look.

"Sure," says Rightofway, "you might still be sitting in traffic for a while, but at least you'll have some eye candy."

Architectural eye candy, you mean.

"Is there any other kind?" Rightofway just shakes his head. "And the whole time you'll be thinking, ‘If only I'd invested in stucco, I could be a rich man!'"

** ** ** ** **

Care to join the North Providence Gang? Occasionally, I send out e-mails to get the Gang's opinion on a variety of topics related to our town. If you'd like to get in on the fun, send me an e-mail at frankocomedy@cox.net and I'll sign you up!