(UN)RELIABLE SOURCES: 031
LET'S GET NICE, PEOPLE!

by FRANK O'DONNELL
MAY 6, 2007

The other day, I stopped in the middle of Mineral Spring Avenue to let a woman take a left hand turn across my bow to get into a gas station.
           
You'd think I'd committed a cardinal sin.

A passing motorist leaned out his window and yelled, "Are you nuts? You tryin' to kill me here?"

A pedestrian walked right up to the passenger window. "What are you, some sort of lunatic? Around here, people do not stop to let other cars go by!"

I got called all sorts of names while cars in all directions started beeping at me. Well, at least the lady was able to get into the gas station.

Shaken, I pulled into the gas station, too. I wasn't going to be able to drive for a little bit.

The damsel whose distress I'd dismissed came right up to me and leaned in my window. "What was that all about?" she wondered.

"Gee, I don't know. I guess those people didn't like me trying to be nice to you."

"Of course they didn't. And let me tell you something, pal, I don't appreciate it too much either."

I scratched my head. "Wait. I was doing you a favor. I let you get across."

"You stopped to let me get across."

"So what's wrong with that?"

"That's not the way it works in this town. I'm quite capable of getting across the street myself. I don't need your help!"

Call me puzzled. "You're telling me you're mad too, just cuz I tried to be nice to you."

"I got no time for nice, pal. Nobody expects it, so all it's gonna do is cause trouble." With that, she turned on her heel and stomped into the store.


I was flabbergasted. Since when is it not nice to be nice?

I say, let the nice start right here.

Not just with me, but with North Providence.   

Come on! Who's with me?

We'll all put bumper stickers on our cars. "Caution: This Vehicle Might Be Nice To Others."

That's fair warning to the folks riding way to close to the aft portion of my vessel, and perhaps a lesson to them as well.

I might just wave someone across the road.

I might just stop for the folks in the crosswalk.

I could even slow down for animals in the middle of the street.

It's just the nice thing to do.

Try it. And while you're doing it, talk to your kids about it. Let them know you're not afraid to be nice.

George Bush had the right idea. Bush 41, that is. The father, not the kid. President Bush set a lofty goal – Kennedyesque almost – in his inaugural address all those years ago. He wanted to establish a kinder, gentler nation.

A more sensitive, more caring land.

Great idea, but too big a test area.

Let's face it. When you're trying to 300 million people inside 3.7 million square miles to be nice to one another, it's not so easy to manage.

But try it with 33,000 people inside 5.7 square miles, and suddenly, it's not so tough to envision.

North Providence. The microcosm of niceness.

And it doesn't have to be limited to our roadways. Perform random acts of kindness all around town.

Help someone load up her car with groceries at the Stop & Shop.

Step aside so the guy behind you at Pauly Penta's can order first.

If someone wants to cut in front of you for communion at St. Anthony's, let him.

After all, if you can't start being nice in church, then perhaps you are a lost soul. You might consider moving out of town before you get run over by the nice steamroller.

But we want you to stay.

If we all chip in and act friendly at every opportunity, it won't be long before "N.P." is short for "Nice People."

Don't kid yourself. The movement has already started, with the lady I let cut across traffic.

She rewarded my efforts with a hearty one-fingered wave. Her way of saying,
"You're number one!"

Isn't that nice?

** ** ** ** **

Care to join the North Providence Gang? Occasionally, I send out e-mails to get the Gang's opinion on a variety of topics related to our town. If you'd like to get in on the fun, send me an e-mail at frankocomedy@cox.net and I'll sign you up!