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North Providence Breeze(UN)RELIABLE SOURCES: 029
TOP TEN SURE SIGNS OF SPRING IN NORTH PROVIDENCE

by FRANK O'DONNELL
APRIL 8, 2007


        
The date of spring's arrival is open for interpretation. The calendar says March 20, but that's nothing more than an arbitrary date set to break the seasons up into rough quarters.

For some, the first sight of a robin is confirmation that spring is here.

For others, a fully bloomed bright yellow forsythia bush does the trick.

Around here, there are other tell tale signs that spring has sprung. Here are my Top Ten Sure Signs of Spring in North Providence:

1. The geese have returned to the NPHS baseball field. Despite the best efforts of all involved – including some clever cardboard coyote cutouts – the geese keep coming back. I have it on good authority that the geese were scared the first year the ersatz coyotes showed up – but only enough to retreat to the football field. These days, the geese are knocking over the cutouts and chasing away intruders in pursuit of their ball field delicacies.

2. My neighbor down the street just took his Corvette off its cinder blocks. He's not ready to take it out on the road yet – that won't happen until the street sweepers have collected most of the sand left over from the winter. No sense letting a good gust of wind strip the paint off the trophy earned during his mid-life crisis.

Charlie Hall Cartoon

3. Barbecues have begun. The scent of a cookout in spring is similar to the scent of a fireplace in winter, confirming man's primal instinct that fire is good. Sure, most folks are out there in their winter coats, and some had to clear out the mice that decided to nest in the grille over the winter, but they are out there, and they are barbecuing.

4. The DPW will be more visible, especially with road repair projects. We can't run the risk of having one of those trophy cars ending up in a pothole.

5. Three-quarters of the customers in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thrus are in line for Coolattas instead of hot coffees.

6. There are lines at some of the town's tanning salons. After all, spring is followed by summer, and we can't be caught unprepared for summer, now can we?

7. Some of the folks with trophy cars have been busily testing their T-tops and convertible apparati. They're not actually driving with the tops down yet, but these things need to be operational on demand.

8. Little League and Babe Ruth baseball teams are in full swing. There's nothing quite like sitting at the ball field, watching the kids practice in their parkas, trying to outrun the attacking geese. When I say "sitting at the ball field," I mean inside my heated car, of course.

9. Do-it-yourselfers have begun their annual pilgrimage to Home Depot. Yard products, lumber, paint, fencing, and every tool conceivable – all jammed into trunks or tossed into truck beds. If they're lucky, these DIY'ers will get to one of their planned projects by the time fall rolls around.

10. There's a whiff of fertilizer in the air. Manure of the equine and bovine varieties, as opposed to the political mix that's been so offensive to the olfactories this winter.

 

But, we'll all know that spring is here at the first sighting of a speed hump. After a long hibernation, they'll be creeping across our roadways before you know it, making us long for winter, when they'll disappear again.

 

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Celebrate the arrival of spring by joining the North Providence Gang. You'll get occasional e-mails to get your opinion on a variety of topics related to our town. If you'd like to get in on the fun, send me an e-mail at frankocomedy@cox.net and I'll sign you up!


Reprinted with permission from The North Providence Breeze
Cartoon by Charlie Hall