(UN)RELIABLE
SOURCES: 026
HOW'S YOUR SPELLING?
by FRANK O'DONNELL
MARCH 4, 2007
Scent.
The air is heady with the scent of vowels and consonants
floating in the ether, patiently waiting to be properly formed into
nouns, verbs, and adjectives. Scent.
Scent. S. C. E. N. T. Scent.
Say it, spell it, say it again.
Ah yes, it's Spelling Bee Season.
This past Thursday, 18 students representing the town's 4th,
5th, 6th, 7th and 8th grades gathered on the North Providence High
School Auditorium stage to put their spelling skills to the test.
They had already bested their classmates in their respective grades
at their respective schools. Now, it was time to face the other champions.
The 4th graders stepped to the microphone.
Stadium.
Undertow.
Banana. The first contestant was eliminated by banana.
I've got to believe it was partially due to the sentence used
to illustrate the word. Something to do with a math teacher cutting
a banana into three parts to demonstrate the concept of fractions.
In one very complex sentence, he was introduced to three concepts
that have no place in a Spelling Bee – mathematics, a math
teacher, and fractions. Can you blame the poor student for being
distracted?
I say, put the word in an easily identified common context.
"The chimpanzee happily munched on a banana."
Bananas are food products, not tutorial aides. The chimpanzee really
drives it home. Short, sweet, to the point.
After nine words, the field of six had been whittled down to two.
Words like clumsy, suppress and pulsate eliminated
all but two 5th graders.
Then it was time for the grade runoffs. Back first to the 4th graders.
Jenna from Marieville faced off against Brandon from McGuire.
It took 19 words to settle this one. One of the words was shingles.
The sentence discussed the disease, not the roofing material. Luckily,
the not-so-pertinent-to-4th-graders context didn't affect the
contestant.
Jenna finally won, after properly spelling freckle and blanch.
Next came the 5th grade runoff, between Samantha from McGuire and
Evan from Greystone.

It was over after twelve words. Along the way: plasma. The
sentence sounded like Stephen Hawking wrote it, and involved magnetic
containment fields.
Why not something simple and relatable? "Mom was very upset
when Dad spent two weeks' pay on a 60-inch plasma TV."
Evan was the winner, properly spelling bonanza and surfable.
At the 6th, 7th and 8th grade levels, there are only two schools,
so there are only two contestants at each level.
Christina from Birchwood's 6th grade faces Sean from Ricci.
After nine words, Sean is victorious.
I'd been spelling along, and doing pretty well, but I wiped
out in this round on balefire.
It's a Middle English expression for a signal fire. I don't
remember ever having heard or read it. Christina, however, spelled
it correctly.
Jeffrey from Ricci's 7th grade goes up against Kelsi from Birchwood.
Kelsi also wins on the ninth word.
The 8th graders are next. David from Birchwood versus Tayla from
Ricci.
One of the words was adhesion. The sentence was so intricate,
if Einstein had been in the audience, he would have leaned over to
the guy next to him and asked, "Do you have any idea what he's
talking about?"
Something about water in a glass, Al, and the property that pulls
it upward to form a meniscus on the surface of the liquid…
David won on the tenth word.
But wait, it's not over.
The five grade-level champions have to face each other. One of the
words on this list was quiver. Its sentence talked about
a receptacle for arrows instead of a synonym for shiver. Proper usage,
yes. But common at elementary schools?
Verbally eliminates one contestant.
Interlinear wipes out another.
After sternum, only Evan and David remain.
Seven words later, David is the winner. He'll represent North
Providence in the statewide Spelling Bee.
Meanwhile, I've got to bone up on my Middle English expressions.
You never know when I might be asked to spell bailiwick or woebegone.
** ** ** ** **
Feel like having some fun? Then join the North Providence Gang. Occasionally,
I send out e-mails to get the Gang's opinion on a variety
of topics related to our town. Why not let your voice be heard – confidentially,
of course. Send me an e-mail at frankocomedy@cox.net and
I'll sign you up!
Reprinted with permission from The North Providence Breeze
Cartoon by Charlie Hall

