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HUMOROUS HIGH

SCHOOL HALLWAYS!

by FRANK O'DONNELL
NOVEMBER 6, 2006

I read recently that my colleague who regularly writes about the goings-on at
 North Providence High School doesn't find the hallways there so hospitable.

I was prepared to chalk it up to normal high school antics, upperclassmen doing what they can to make the newbies uncomfortable – and thereby establishing themselves at the top of the food chain.

But I wondered how the administration was reacting.

So I called my buddy, Joe Goho, the NPHS principal, and asked. How happy are your hallways?

He told me he had the article on his desk, and then referred to the school's Mission Statement. "It's our goal to create a safe, nurturing and challenging environment for all our students."

Having been to the school many times for a variety of reasons, I would have to say that generally, I agree that Joe, the faculty and the staff do a terrific job.

"But," said Goho, "this article tells me we're not perfect, and we need to try to be perfect."

Sounds to me like Joe's on the case. He's paying attention to the criticism, and he'll do what he can to make things right.

After I hung up, I had a thought, a way to perhaps make the halls happier places for students and faculty alike.

You've heard of Hallway Monitors?

How about Hallway Humorists?

Folks placed strategically throughout the building, telling a joke here, a riddle there, tossing in a pratfall or two.

Think about it.

You're a student, walking down a seemingly endless corridor. As you walk, your footfalls echo, reminding you of every Edgar Allen Poe classic you've read the Cliff's Notes for.

You're alone, and you're afraid. At any moment, someone or something could leap out of a locker and devour you. Who knew high school could be so rough?

But wait, you're not alone after all!

Halfway down the corridor, a guy in a sequined vest is juggling fruit. As you watch, he snatches a bite from an apple. As he does, a banana gets lodged in his ear.
And suddenly, you're not afraid anymore.

Despite yourself, you're laughing, and before you know it, you're safe in your chemistry class – where a whole new horror awaits, but that's another story.

You could even have the Hallway Humorists tailor their material for the particular academic area.

In the Mathematics Department, someone could tell math jokes. "Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!"

(That one makes a whole lot more sense when you say it out loud.)

In the Science Department, you could have someone dissecting a rubber chicken.

In the Literature Department, read from selected joke books – but only those joke books properly screened by members of the School Committee, who certainly have a sense of humor. I mean, have you seen the most recent school budget?

In the cafeteria, you could have coaches of the various teams take turns pretending to be a lunch lady.

This is an idea whose time has come.

It's time to get serious about joking around – at the high school anyway.

And if it works there, maybe it's something that will carry over to Town Council meetings, which are scarier than any high school corridor could ever hope to be.

           
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Care to join the North Providence Gang? Occasionally, I send out e-mails to get the Gang's opinion on a variety of topics related to our town. If you'd like to get in on the fun, send me an email at frankocomedy@cox.net and I'll sign you up!