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FRANK PIECES: The Blizzard of '05

by FRANK O'DONNELL
January 2005

The Storm of the Century, some were calling it. Just a touch pretentious, given that the century has only just begun.

I refer, of course, to the snowstorm of this weekend past. Or as Channel 12 called it, "Blizzard '05." Channel 10 was a tad more creative, referring to it as "Winter Blast!"

However, I'm also thinking that Channels 10 and 12 went a bit overboard.

It's a snowstorm, guys. Lots of snow that needs to be pushed aside before things can return to normal. No need for you to go live all day long and talk about nothing but.

Understandably, the weather folks get a little giddy on a weekend like this. They get to talk about low-pressure systems and isobars and wind gusts and snow accumulations and wind chill factors. Exciting stuff for people who usually make themselves yawn.

Channel 12's Tony Petrarca was beside himself, referring to the snowstorm as "historic" and talking about "unbelievably impressive wind gusts!"

And it looked like Channel 10's Kelly Bates was going to break out some pom-poms and cheer when she announced that Rhode Island had just met the official criteria for a blizzard. "Thirty-five mile per hour winds, sustained for three hours!" I think I could actually hear the champagne corks popping at Weather Central.

So now I know the definition of a blizzard, which could come in handy some time when I'm playing Trivial Pursuit. But did I need Kelly to tell me that we were in the middle of one? All I had to do was look out the window, see that my car was buried up to the side view mirrors and watch the snow coming down right to left, and I knew.

Which means that the people at Channels 10 and 12 think we're lacking windows.

It's more likely they're programming for the common sense impaired. Unless they warn us, we'll probably go outside and do something stupid.

"Stay indoors," said Mario Hilario, "that's the best advice we can give."

A moment later, Channel 10 went live to Barnstable, where Larry Estepa had chained himself to a telephone pole to tell us what we already knew. Cape Cod was having a blizzard, too.

Bill Rappleye, who normally covers the political beat for Channel 10, must have drawn a short straw, because they had him stationed live on Kennedy Plaza in downtown Providence. To his credit, he was not enjoying this duty, and almost snapped when Mario led into his segment, wondering how it was out there.

"It's balmy out here, Mario," said Rappleye. "Why don't you come down and join me?" The malice in Rappleye's voice was enough to send Hilario scampering into the closest closet for protection.

Channel 10 reporter Cherie Curry was also out in the field, sitting safely in a news truck. Her live shot was through the open window of the truck - which means of course that the poor cameraperson was outside, braving the elements. And the conditions were so horrible, we had only her word that she was in Smithfield. For all we know, she could have been in the Channel 10 parking lot.

For me, the best part of the broadcasts was watching these folks who are so used to reading teleprompters try to ad lib. It was like watching an infomercial for the Yogi Berra School of Speaking.

Mark Zinni, Channel 12's storm anchor, was talking about conditions at T.F. Green. "Technically, the airport is open. You can go there, but you can't go anywhere."
But Mario Hilario is this storm's winner of the Yogi, as he wrapped up a segment on how folks readied themselves for the coming storm. "That is the key," he said, "to make better prepared preparations!"

As you read this, you may be wondering why Channel 6 wasn't mentioned. By the time I woke up - around 8 o'clock on Sunday morning - Channel 6 was broadcasting regular programming. It's possible they didn't even realize we were in the middle of a meteorological crisis.

Or maybe they're just holding out for the next Storm of the Millennium!